


thinking (about you)

by maimie



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 02:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12807969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maimie/pseuds/maimie
Summary: "There is no way that was you." Seongwoo saw the same blank look in Minhyun's eyes. His next words came out strained, the smile he forced did nothing to calm his nerves down. "You are as straight as I am... right?"





	thinking (about you)

_This is wrong._  Unfamiliar lips on his neck, another caress of a soft breath... Gentle fingertips making him feel so many things; bad and _maybe_ good but none of them for actual right reasons. _This is wrong._

  
And Seongwoo knew he couldn't blame anyone else about the situation; he was just an idiot for thinking Jinyoung's idea of fun would actually be fun. It was supposed be a simple truth or dare game but when the little devil decided to put his own little twist to it and made an offer, Seongwoo was actually the first one to be his supporter.

  
"If you choose truth 2 times you can only choose dare afterwards." Seongwoo was sure he never saw Jinyoung being this excited before and it was over a simple and stupid truth or dare game, he should have realized this alone was a warning in disguise. "I trust you dear olders and youngers. Lets ruin some lives tonight." _Oh that they did._

  
Sungwoon brought one of his empty soju bottles (he was making a collection of alcohol bottles he finished in zero base... Seongwoo didn't even bother to ask why) and they all sat down on the floor in a big circle. Game started off in a slow pace; Sungwoon talked about his first love, Jaehwan had to confess how he had a crush on his biology teacher back in high school and how he might still have it but he was trying to convince everyone that it was a 'big' might and he could control his hormones easily now.

Jinyoung was already complaining about how much of a losers they all were and Seongwoo was trying to decide whether to keep playing or just go and sleep when the bottle took a stop between Woojin and Minhyun. Woojin's wolvish grin was enough for them all to realize he was up to no good including Minhyun himself, so no one was surprised when he chose truth. Seongwoo decided to stay a bit longer.

  
"Tell me hyung." Woojin was carefully watching Minhyun. "If you could fuck one of Nu'est members, if you didn't do it already that is, who would it be? If you actually did it tell us who it was."

  
Jisung threw the pillow he was hugging to his chest right at Woojin. Woojin was fast enough to catch it before it hit his face and Jihoon almost poured down his orange juice in the process so he started whining loudly. Everyone ignored him as Jisung started yelling. "Hey! What kind of a language is that?"

  
Woojin was quick to start an argument with Jisung about how he was not a child anymore but Seongwoo just tuned them out as he decided to inspect Minhyun instead. He knew the rest of his members for months and it was only natural he knew many things about them all by now. All of them had their own ways to show their embarrassment and Minhyun's was actually quite a cute one. When Seongwoo saw Minhyun's pink ears, both corners of his mouth slowly lifted up into a small smile.

"Minhyun hyung!" Woojin just decided to ignore Jisung in the middle of their argument, which made Guanlin scoot over away from Jisung who was even angrier because of that, and Seongwoo looked at Minhyun once more. Not only his ears but his cheeks were tinted with pink this time.

"Well..." Minhyun's eyes slowly scanned the circle as if he could find a way out of the situation by doing so. The way his shoulders fell a moment later was enough to make everyone give their pure attention to him. "There is one."

  
Minhyun's words sounded so casual, more casual than Seongwoo could ever expect or thought it _should_ have been. A few pairs of eyebrows were up in curiousity and Jinyoung had the audacity to clap and giggle as if this was what he wanted all along; and yeah, it was indeed what he wanted.

 

"Minki." Minhyun said the name not long after and before Seongwoo could even think about the confession Minhyun gave the answers himself. "Not that we did anything. We didn't and I don't actually want to do it," He emphasized the words while looking directly at Woojin. "But if I were to choose, I guess it would be him? Don't ask me why because I don't know."

Seongwoo saw Jihoon raising his hand eagerly like he wanted to ask something but as soon as Minhyun saw this he quickly grabbed the bottle and spinned it. "Next round!"

 

No one asked more questions, which was surprising, and everything was pretty much a mess after that. Minhyun's turn was like a switch and everyone somehow became much bolder, questions were more dangerous now and nobody had the courage to pick dare including the self-claimed fearless maknae line. Or they were just trying to prolong the game somehow since they loved to see older members being miserable.

Seongwoo thought about picking dare but when the mastermind of the game ended up as the one who's on the other side of the bottle because Seongwoo was dumb enough to sit right across him and he saw the look on his face, he was quick to pick the safer one of the options. He knew this would cost him a lot and his reputation as the coolest hyung would be damaged big time but he couldn't risk showing his dick to his minor bandmates, or older ones in that matter.

His choice made him reveal the size of his dick instead, which made everyone else comment on it and Jisung was just getting even more mortified each time a minor member opened their mouth. Seongwoo was about to kill himself as a tipsy Daniel started bragging about his own size being a bit longer than his _even if literally no one asked him_ _about it_ and Guanlin was traumatized enough with the whole conversation that he just went to his room to sleep instead.

Jinyoung was having the time of his life as he said it was an easy question considering they were all guys before he directed a ''we are all guys here, aren't we?'' right at Seongwoo which made the older one throw the 2nd pillow of the night right at his face and it was a success since Jinyoung was never fast like Woojin. This made Seongwoo hang on a little bit.

 

5 more rounds and still no one was crazy enough to choose dare. "I can't believe how boring this is, I had faith in all of you. And the dumb bottle just doesn't stop where i want it to so I can pick dare myself." Jinyoung's pout made Minhyun giggle and coo at the little devil with a mumble of 'cute'. Seongwoo just glared at him behind his bottle of beer which gone unnoticed without any intent or Jinyoung just simply decided to ignore him. Intentionally.

"Someone will have to choose dare eventually. Sungwoon and Jaehwan hyung already picked truth 2 times." Daehwi reassured Jinyoung after grinning at his last victim Sungwoon and all Seongwoo could see was red when he looked at his face. It was pretty reasonable since he had to reveal his list of kinks both he tried before or he was willing to try, and they were just... _wild_. Hell, even for Seongwoo. Seongwoo ignored his urge to laugh as he opened up another can of beer to drink.

 

The victim was Minhyun again. Woojin seemed hesitant before he asked his question. "Minhyun hyung. Did you hate anyone on Produce 101?"

Seongwoo rolled his eyes and everyone else seemed like they were ready to scold Woojin, and yeah, Minhyun had _that_   impact on all of them somehow which made Seongwoo respect his same aged member a bit more.  
  
Woojin caught up on the situation before he lifted his hands up to defend himself. "Hey, I know he is an angel and all! He probably put everyone on his evaluation teams to sleep at least once singing them some kind of a lullaby or something," when Woojin noticed the weird looks he is recieving from everyone he quickly continued. "Or that was just me, which is not our point!" He cleared his throat before he focused on Minhyun. "But I'm sure he at least disliked someone. You can't just expect someone to like everyone around them, can you?"

  
No one said a thing afterwards since Woojin actually made sense for once. Everyone looked at Minhyun, and he seemed like he was in his own little world while staring blankly at the floor. Seongwoo didn't know how long this went on but as seconds passed by he lost interest. It was **Minhyun**. _How could he possibly hate anyone?_ Seongwoo was about to take another sip of his beer, thinking he knew the answer already, then the silence was broken.

 

''I disliked someone.'' Minhyun's voice was firm, there was no hint of uncertainty. Seongwoo's eyes shifted towards Minhyun and they made an eye contact for a brief moment. Minhyun quickly averted his eyes and Seongwoo's attention was on him again, knowing he was about to learn something interesting.  
  
  
''It was one of you.''

  
Well, now this was not something Seongwoo would not expect.

  
  
''Oh?'' Woojin said quietly and when Seongwoo looked around him all he could see was confused faces. Then it all happened too fast and nothing could prepare Seongwoo for what was  Minhyun going to say next.

''Seongwoo, it's just...'' They locked eyes again. It was really quiet for a moment, Seongwoo thought he could hear members' heartbeats if he tried. ''I wanted to tell you about this before but it just never happened. And it was before I got to know you so it really didn't matter at the end...''

  
  
  
  
  
_What the fuck?_    
  
  
  
Seongwoo blinked once. Then twice. Minhyun just stared at him as if he was expecting a reply, from who... _Seongwoo?_   Why would he expect that from _him?_

  
Seongwoo then felt nine more pairs of eyes on him and he always been someone who liked attention, but this one was not the kind he wanted. He knew he could run out of the room to hide in a corner if he was a bit more tipsy because he didn't like it when people looked at him with that look; a mix between shock, worry and even a little bit of _pity_.  
  
He had to force the words out of his mouth before ended up running into his room or just out of zero base somewhere to somewhere even more far away from everyone. ''What the hell are you talking about?''

  
"It was you, the one I disliked," Minhyun kept his eyes steady on Seongwoo's. "You seemed so... full of yourself? It took me long to realize how humble you actually were. I just couldn't help but dislike you till i managed that and I feel sorry about it even now."

  
Seongwoo is suddenly reminded of the time he complimented Minhyun about his honesty. If he knew the same honesty would cause him the discomfort he was feeling that moment, he would just keep the compliment to himself. And he knew he had to say something, so he ended up asking the first thing that came into his mind.''You disliked me but you still chose me for your team?''

  
The way Minhyun looked at him spoke for itself. _Out of everything, you ask this to me?_   "We were in a competition. You had the skills, you had the charisma. You had everything I wanted in my team so I just made the logical choice. And I'm not sorry about it since I got to know the real you that way."

  
Seongwoo was not sure how to feel about Minhyun's words. If it was in another situation all those flattering words would make his day but all he felt was something close to emptiness instead. And they kept staring at each other for a long moment as Seongwoo digested everything Minhyun said.  
  
  
Then Seongwoo laughed. Without a reason. He just did.  
  
  
He was sure it was the alcohol and if he wasn't feeling tipsy he wouldn't reveal his own first impression about Minhyun because that would just seem petty, but words fell out of his mouth and at his state he didn't really care about his image. ''Well, it makes the two of us. I was not too fond of you and the rest of Nu'est too, you know? I'm sure you know the reasons so I don't have to talk about it. But I got over my prejudices like you did.''

  
Even if Minhyun felt something, he didn't show it. "I was aware."

  
Seongwoo laughed again and then he drank the rest of his beer without a breath. His mind went blank for a second and he shook his head to clear his vision before lifting up the empty can towards Minhyun, a big grin on his face. ''No hard feelings?''

Whatever that was going on between them, Seongwoo was not so sure about it himself, Minhyun just went along. His smile was as convincing as it could get. ''No hard feelings.''

  
Everyone else was dumbfounded during the whole conversation and after. Daehwi somehow quietly excused himself then left the area like Guanlin did, going to his room. Even Jinyoung seemed like he didn't know what to say after dictating everyone whole night and this made Seongwoo laugh one more time. ''Jinyoung-ah! Let's continue!'' He threw the empty can aside then just spinned the bottle even if it wasn't his turn to do so. No one didn't say anything about it. ''OOOH! It's Daniel's turn!''

 

  
  
  
And that was the thing with them, every member could forget about anything 5 minutes later and when the bottle ended up on Sungwoon 2 rounds later, no one even cared about Seongwoo and Minhyun anymore. Including themselves since Seongwoo ended up making fun of Sungwoon in any way he can and Minhyun ended up laughing at the current situation wholeheartedly.

  
"Now we are talking!" Jinyoung yelled out in excitement as everyone was cheering except Sungwoon, knowing he had to choose dare this time after picking truth two times before. Woojin started to sing Downpour out of the blue to annoy Sungwoon even more and Seongwoo had to join of course, wrapping his arm around Woojin which made their volume go up even more. Sungwoon threw the 3rd pillow of the night at Seongwoo's face and it was successful. Seongwoo kept giggling as he took the pillow in his arms, hugging it to his chest.

  
"I feel burdened." Jihoon said with fake worry, which made Woojin and Jinyoung go to his side. Jinyoung started massaging his shoulders and Woojin was dramatically fanning his face with his hands, as if Jihoon was in some kind of a half-time during a match. Sungwoon's glare was getting scarier by the second.

  
"Just say what I'm supposed to do and cut the act, you brat." Jihoon rolled his eyes at Sungwoon's attempt to intimidate, then he turned back to Jinyoung to obviously ask for his ideas about what he should do. Sungwoon quickly intervened. "You are not supposed to ask for help!"

  
Jihoon nodded at Jinyoung with a big smirk on his face, then he turned to Sungwoon with an almost innocent look in his eyes. Almost. "And who says that, hyung? Are you ready for your dare though?"

  
Sungwoon kept glaring at Jihoon and when Seongwoo giggled at this (too) his eyes somehow met Minhyun's. It was not even a second, really, and When Jihoon announced the dare Seongwoo was laughing with joy instead. The small exchange was quickly forgotten and so is the whole situation, the moment he will have to deal with the problem postponed one more time. "Send a picture of your dick in all your groupchats. The one with Hotshot members, with your close friends, with your Produce buddies. All of it. I'll check it later."

 

"That's a joke, right?" Sungwoon asked, scared, but Jihoon's blank expression and Jinyoung's grin told him enough. "NO FUCKING WAY!"

  
As Sungwoon got up on his feet and he went near Jihoon to do everything he can do to make him change his mind, yelling something about his reputation and how he had his grandfather and parents in one of his groupchats, Seongwoo took the chance to get another can of beer from the stack they prepared before the game. He was about to take the first sip when he heard a soft voice. It was supposed to be hard to notice the tone with the loud voices of arguing members, but Seongwoo caught it immediately.

  
  
''Seongwoo. I think you drank enough.'' Minhyun seemed geniunely concerned. Seongwoo smiled at him. Geniunely.

  
"I'm fine. I'm not getting drunk before I see that photo." But Minhyun kept looking at him with worried eyes, and this somehow made Seongwoo put his drink away. He could think about this too, but later. "You don't have to treat me like I'm a fragile doll just because of your confession. I'm not gonna break."

  
Seongwoo was sure he saw something close to sadness in Minhyun's eyes when he said that. He barely heard Minhyun's next words before his attention shifted to his loud members again.  
  
  
  
_''That's not it...''_  And Seongwoo would think about this. Later.

  
"I hate you all." Sungwoon angrily, also cutely, stomped his way back over where he sat to take his phone. After yelling at Jihoon for minutes he finally gave in at the end since the younger spared him and he didn't have to send the photo to his family groupchats. Jihoon's mercy didn't help much with his temper though. "I don't even know why I agreed to play this game. I must be out of my mind."

  
"We love you too hyung." Woojin teased and Sungwoon tried to kick him on his way out the circle but the younger stepped away just in time.  
  
  
When Sungwoon went in to the bathroom, well... to take a photo of his dick, everyone was back on their seats. Apparently no one wanted to lose the pace of the game now since things actually were more fun. When Jihoon spinned the bottle Seongwoo somehow knew it would be pointing at him in the end, gut feeling or whatever you call that, and it actually happened. Jinyoung was at the other side of him once again.

  
"Truth or dare?" Jinyoung asked, seemingly bored once again since he kind of knew the answer already. Seongwoo thought he knew the answer too, he was supposed to choose the logical option, but what he said was the opposite.

  
"Dare." When he saw the shocked faces around him he giggled again, not aware of the new glint in Jinyoung's eyes. "I'm kind of tipsy right now so tell me what I'm going to do before I have a mood swing and decide to cry myself to sleep instead."

  
  
  
So when he ended up sitting in the middle of the circle as the new hot issue since no one seemed to care about Sungwoon's dick anymore; oh, he was also blindfolded and his hands were tied up behind him with a belt of someone (and this situation could look so much _worse_ than it already was if it was taken out of context... he was just happy they were not filming for Wanna One Go and there were no cameras around to record what they were doing) he truly wished he just left and cried himself to sleep like he announced. He didn't know Jinyoung would actually go this far.

 

Because everyone in the group knew just how straight Seongwoo was. Whenever he told other members about his adventures as a trainee, and he had _lot_ of them, it somehow ended up including a girl and how Seongwoo broke her heart. It's not that he was proud of the things he did because he knew he was just a jerk most of his life but he always loved to show off, this included his past as a popular heartbreaker. He had to change the way he lived after he joined Produce 101; he didn't even step a foot in a club for how long and  _god, he missed that._ He tried to convince Daniel and even Sungwoon for a night out several times but it didn't work out so he was just stuck between schedules and the dorm for months. He missed to carelessly dance between strangers, he missed his one night relationships.  
  
  
  
Seongwoo missed physical contacts; not the sweet ones he shares with fans during fansigns or the harsh ones he shares with his members when they play around and somehow someone ends up getting too excited. He missed the  _intimacy._

 

After months of deprivation, he didn't expect to share that intimacy with a  _man,_  and that man being one of his _members_. It could help a little bit if he could at least know which member it was going to be but Bae Jinyoung had no mercy. Seongwoo didn't know what he did to deserve all of this and if karma was real like people made it out to be, it definitely was not on his side.

  
  
"Are you comfortable, hyung?" Even Jinyoung's voice was enough for Seongwoo to lose his temper. If he could actually see where Jinyoung was he would send the nastiest look on his way but the blindfold on his eyes (which was made of a mix between a sleep and a beauty mask... and it actually worked pretty well. There was _no way_ Seongwoo would openly praise anyone for this though) was not making things easier on Seongwoo.   
  
"How is Jisung hyung so quiet about this?" he just had to try one last time. "Hyung... I know I made your life miserable many times and I'm sorry I abused your giraffe with Daniel but you are better than me, you really are. Save me."  
  
Jisung was uninterested. "It's not like anyone would actually listen to me. Guanlin and Daehwi are already asleep and the rest of you are just a bunch of trouble and lots of headache with no innocence or whatsoever. So no, you are not getting any help from me.''  
  
"And that being said," Seongwoo just wanted Jinyoung to  _shut up._ But if luck was on his side he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. "Let's get to the real stuff. I want to play few more rounds before we sleep."  
  
  
  
Seongwoo didn't know what happened next few minutes. There were low whispers but he couldn't make anything out of them which made him guess that the members moved away from him, possibly trying to decide who was gonna smooch him all over. He almost cried because of the idea  _alone_ and he thought of running away, saving himself just in time but his pride was ahead of him; there was a voice inside his mind trying to convince his reasonable side saying how he could do this, that there was nothing wrong about being gay and how Seongwoo was brave enough to try anything. And the effect of alcohol didn't help him at all so he just stayed right there, waiting for his misery to come.  
  
  
  
  
And when it came, it was unexpected.  
  
  
When Seongwoo felt soft fingertips on his left cheek after sitting down in the dark and quiet for so long he almost had an heart attack. "What the fuck? You could at least warn me first!"  
  
"Sorry hyung. No one except me can talk for 2 minutes." Jinyoung said. "By the way we didn't choose a minor so you don't have to worry about ethics and the law, or whatever."  
  
  
Seongwoo's clapback got stuck in his throat when he realized the unfamiliar warmth radiating towards his body, coming right in front of him. Seongwoo was aware of the closeness, he was sure if he could reach out he would be able to touch the one who was sitting in front of him.

Seongwoo's mind went into an overdrive and he was ready to calculate the possibilities. He knew he could quickly find the idendity of the owner of those soft fingers if he tried hard enough but when the said fingers on his cheek caressed his face slowly, all thoughts left Seongwoo's mind in an instant; who's or why's didn't mean much anymore. Goosebumps were all over. His cheeks first, then all of his body and then he was just confused. _So, so confused._

 

The first kiss was a soft touch of lips on his other cheek, barely there, but it was enough to make Seongwoo let out a shaky breath. He knew it was not gone unnoticed so when he felt a firm kiss on the same spot the bells in his head started ringing even louder; he couldn't think straight, and then he couldn't breathe.  _This is wrong. Everything about this is wrong._

  
Seongwoo always knew what to do in the worst situations. How he ended up creating a whole new choreography during his audition for Fantagio when he forgot the actual routine was another famous story of is. He was so good at manipulating people and there was no way Seongwoo wouldn't get what he wanted if he was certain about it. When he felt nervous his confidence would be his shield, nothing could break his walls down including Seongwoo himself.  
  
But he felt a soft exhale of breath on his neck and he knew he didn't have a plan B this time. He felt like he was the one who was being manipulated, he felt nervous.

The other one, whoever the hell it was, was in control. But no matter how helpless he felt Seongwoo could still use confidence as a facade. He was not going down without a fight.  
  
  
"This is why I'm straight." he mumbled. Seongwoo felt another exhale on his neck and it almost felt like the other party was  _offended._ Seongwoo knew there were bisexuals in the group but his... _lover_... somehow felt too gay, which made him even more nervous since he didn't know which one of them stood closer to the gay side of the LGBT scale. This also meant the said person was very far away from Seongwoo and Seongwoo didn't like long distance relationships.

"When is this going to end?" Same lips were on his neck this time and the sensation almost made him _faint_. Everything aside, Seongwoo knew how to give credits when it was due and the guy actually knew how to use his lips. Not that it meant anything. "I'm bored."

  
"Few more seconds." Jinyoung said. Then he was whining like a child. "Hyung! Do something exciting!"  
  
"No. Don't do it." Seongwoo said quickly and of course the other one didn't obey. He felt a touch of tongue on his neck along with lips next and if he was on his feet he knew he would fall down. Seongwoo tried to form another sentence to prove he was not effected, that he just wanted this thing to be over but even his fake confidence didn't help him this time; and he almost cried, for so many different reasons.  
  
  
The lips moved all over his neck, as if they were trying to prove Seongwoo _something._ Every touch different in their own way, varied between soft and sometimes something a bit more than that. Seongwoo did his best to keep in the unwanted sounds and he managed. He was not enjoying this and he was not going to make anyone think otherwise just because his body didn't want to cooparate. He kept in the shivers, the gasps. He didn't let his heart beat faster than necessary.  
  
"The time is almost up." Jinyoung's words made him feel like he was taking a deep breath after he almost drowned and Seongwoo realized he actually loved the younger when he was not doing the deeds of satan.   
  
  
  
"This was easier than I expected." Seongwoo lied, getting his sense of sanity back with the new announcement. All warmth he could feel for a moment was the fingers around his neck and he thought he was finally safe, no lips on his neck or his cheeks. Or somewhere else. If there was some kind of a winner for this game it was about to be him and awards be damned, he just wanted to have a happily ever after with his straight agenda.

  
  
Seongwoo was waiting for the moment, Jinyoung would finally finish the round and he could just pretend nothing was wrong and last 2 minutes could just be another annoying dream he had. He would get another beer, then he would annoy Sungwoon a bit more before he called it a day.  
  
  
But he could even feel the joy of his victory, he felt another touch of lips. For the last time.

 

And it was on his lips.

  
  
Seongwoo couldn't think of anything when it happened. He couldn't think of anything when both lips and fingertips left him with a weird feeling which was something close to loneliness. He couldn't think of anything when Jinyoung finally removed his blindfond a bit later and Seongwoo saw something close to shock in his eyes, or when he looked at the others and they all had the same serious expressions on their faces. He couldn't think of anything as he looked at Jisung, Sungwoon, Minhyun, Daniel and Jaehwan one more time, a bit more carefully, and none of them seemed suspicious enough.

 

Seongwoo went back into his room then, no exchanges of good nights before he did so, and he laid down. He didn't think of anything as he looked at the ceeling for hours before he fell asleep.

 

Because he could think about everything. Later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> not exactly sure how this whole thing turned up to be this corny and no one asked for this fic but anyway... hello!
> 
> im not sure when part 2 will be up but ill do my best about it,,, if anyone is willing to read that is
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!! and comments are much appreciated x


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